


Touched by Death

by nek0zawakun



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst and Feels, F/M, Memoirs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-12 06:40:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29505636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nek0zawakun/pseuds/nek0zawakun
Summary: "Fear is a response to threats and danger. You possess neither. Why should I be afraid of you?" she asked surprise clear in her voice.
Relationships: Gaara (Naruto)/Original Female Character(s)





	Touched by Death

**Touched by Death [Gaara] for lovexconspiracy**

_Based on the memory of Sabaku no Gaara. In a memory of Mae Lee_

It happened a long time ago, when I just because the Kazekage of Suna. It was one of those rare rainy summer days in Suna. Everything was dark and chilly. Heavy raindrops hit the window making me a cold chill run down my spine every time. I put away a tall pile of papers that needed to be organized and walked to the window; that was when I saw **_her_**. She stood in the middle of an empty street with a big smile on her pale beautiful face. Her head was raised to the sky, eyes were closed and before I knew it, she started dancing. She moved so lightly and gracefully, as if a goddess came down to Earth. The sound of rain seemed to be the music to her ears; I could hear her laugher even behind my closed window. I watched her hypnotised by her smile, her dance, her beauty. It took me a while to realize that the girl could catch a cold and get sick. I mentally told myself off for my own stupidity and rushed to the exit grabbing a blanket.

When I got outside, I shivered once again noting how cold and wet it was. I made my way to the girl and wrapped the blanket around her small fragile figure. She turned around and raised her eyebrows, smile never leaving her face.

"Rain is beauty and beauty is said to originate outside of human perception, don't you think stranger?"

Out of everything I least expected to hear that. I looked dumbfounded at her making her laugh. Her laughter was music to my ears; it was a sweet melody I wanted to hear over and over again. She quickly removed the blanket from herself and carefully placed it on the nearby bench. She took my hand and pulled me slightly closer.

"Listen to the rain." she whispered closing her eyes.

I looked at her hand which held my own and felt a small smile creep on my own face. Without any hesitations I closed my eyes and...listened. I couldn't believe my ears. I could hear a melody...a quiet yet clear melody in the rain.

"I can hear it." I whispered to the girl with my eyes still closed.

"Dance with me." She whispered back.

I opened my eyes to see her looking at me, with her big and breath-taking green eyes. There was so much warmth, kindness and care in them. Why?

I nodded my head and slowly wrapped my arms around her small waist, while her hands snaked themselves around my neck and we started moving. Slowly, rhythmically...my eyes never left hers. I didn't want to miss a single glimpse of their shine; there was so much life in them so much harmony.

He swayed to the sound of the rain until it finally stopped. The girl smiled at me and unwrapped her arms; even thought I did not want to, but I followed her gesture afraid to scare her off.

"Thank you." She said quietly placing her warm hand on my cheek.

In a matter of seconds she was gone.

I looked at the place she stood just a moment ago and sighed. I didn't even know her name. What a fool I was! How could I possibly find her if I didn't even know her name?? I sighed heavily and walked back to the house. I was sure that it was the last time I saw the beautiful girl with green lively eyes and orange hair.

I was wrong.

***

The sun was shining brightly reflecting in the crystal water of the waterfall. Gaara sat in the shade of a big Sakura tree enjoying the view and the birds singing, yet his mind kept coming back to the girl he was a couple of days ago. He sighed heavily and closed his eyes when a familiar melodical voice spoke:

"You hear Nature's voice in the river that ever flows on towards the sea  
A voice destined to live forever that has lived for untold centuries  
From the foothills of the high country it babbles downhill night and day  
By groves and by ditches and hedgerows to saltwater it winds its way."

Gaara jumped up and turned around to see the most beautiful creature behind him. She stood in the sunlight with her hand placed on a large oak tree and smile playing on her full yet pale lips. She wore a long white dress that reminded him of those worn in 17th century. The corset of the dress hugged her waist making it look even smaller than he remembered it from the last time. She had a gold necklace, with a medallion that opened, around her neck. Her pale skin was glowing in the sunlight and a slight blush on the face looked absolutely perfect. She wore no shoes making Gaara gasp at how small her feet were. And once again he got an imagine of a goddess stepping upon the mother earth.

"Hello stranger." She smiled walking closer.

"Hello." Gaara managed to say.

The girl walked past him and made her way to the waterfall. She stepped into the water not bothering to take off her dress.

"The water is lovely. Come join me." She said turning around and holding out her hand for Gaara.

Gaara slowly made his way to the girl; he kicked off his shoes and stepped into the water. She was right. The water was nice. It was warm yet it kept its coolness.

"What's your name?" Gaara asked looking straight into her eyes.

"Mae Lee." She replied walking deeper into the water. She took a deep breath and dove under the water. A couple of seconds later he dove out holding a beautiful purple flower between her thin pale fingers.

She held the flower out to Gaara and smiled.

"I'm ..." Gaara begun, but her soft voice interrupted.

"I know who you are Gaara-san." He loved the way she said his name. It was...different from the way others said it. There was no bitterness, hate or fear in it. There was care, warmth and love; Love. What is Love? He didn't know, but he was sure he heard it every time she spoke.

"You are not afraid of me?" Gaara asked accepting the gift. He hid the little flower in his pocket and looked back the girl.

"Fear is a response to threats and danger. You possess neither. Why should I be afraid of you?" she asked surprise clear in her voice.

"Because of the Shukaku." Gaara said quietly looking away.

He didn't like talking about his demon, yet somehow he felt the need to do so with her. Somehow he knew she would listen.

She laughed quietly covering her beautiful lips with her hand.

"The Demon in you? The beast who...wanted to Love?" she asked looking into his eyes.

Gaara's eyes widened in shock. How did she know? How did she know that all he and his demon ever wanted is to love? To feel loved. Nobody else understood. People feared. It's in the human nature to fear the things unknown. Everybody rejected them and that was when the killings started. But she...she knew.

"How did you...?"

"Know?"

"Yes."

Mae smiled.

"I just did."

Gaara didn't reply. His mind was occupied with a waterfall of sudden thoughts.

Mae slowly walked out the water and laid down on the grass. Gaara looked back and followed. He sat down close to her and looked in front of him. Silence filled the air, yet not a single awkward moment. Gaara watched Mae laying on the soft grass with her eyes closed, inhaling the fresh air...he watched her chest rose up and down with every breath she took. The way her eyebrows twitched from time to time and a smile never leaving her face.

Suddenly he felt an overflow of emotions. He wanted to hold her, to wrap his arms around her, ran his fingers through her hair, stroke her soft skin.

_*This is not me. What's happening to me??* he thought desperately looking at her._

Before he could stop himself he reached out and stroked her cheek. Mae opened her eyes and looked questionably at the man with red hair and 'Love' tattooed on his forehead. Gaara quickly pulled back his hand and looked down cursing himself for his foolishness.

"I'm sorry." He mumbled still not looking at her.

Suddenly he felt two gentle hands take his own hand. He looked up to see Mae's smiling face. She placed his hand on her cheek, her eyes never leaving his.

"Please...continue." she whispered.

And he did.

His hand gently stroked her skin, while he silently admired its softness. He trailed his fingers over her lips, then jaw line and her neck. He ran his other hand through her long hair. Mae looked at his expression. Her heart ached a little. Gaara moved a bit closer, now he could inhale her scent. Scent of wild flowers and roses.

Mae reached out to his face and touched his tattoo. Gaara closed his eyes as her hands explored his face ever so gently. Her fingers barely touched his skin yet it sent shivers down his spine.

"Mae?" Gaara called quietly.

"Yes Gaara?"

"You are...beautiful..." he whispered. "Both inside and out."

Mae laughed quietly at his comment. She stood up making his hands drop to his sides. He quickly followed her movement.

"I have to go." He said quietly.

Gaara's heart sunk. He didn't want to let her go. No. Not yet.

"I want to see you again." He whispered taking her hand. "Please."

Mae placed one hand on his cheek making him close his eyes and lean his head on her hand. She ran her fingers through his hair with another.

"Tomorrow. Same time. Same place." With that she disappeared. Just like the last time.

Gaara slowly walked back home, wishing the night was over and the new day begun. The day when he could once again see Mae Lee.

***

After that day we started seeing each other every day. I couldn't imagine a day living without seeing her beautiful smile, hear her melodical laughter. I couldn't stand the time when we weren't together. I felt as if I was trapped in a small dark room and she was my oxygen.

We spent every second available together. We talked and laughed and did the most ridiculous things anyone could ever imagine. I loved every minute, every second, every moment spent with her.

If I was a bear she would be my north pole.

If I was a flower she would be my sunlight.

If I was a vampire she would be my blood.

I didn't notice how day by day, minute after minute I slowly fell in love with her. Yes I loved her. I loved her with every inch of my skin. And I couldn't help but wonder how she felt towards me.

She treated everybody the same. Kindly, lovingly, tenderly. She always had a good word saved for everybody, even the people who didn't deserve it. She loved everything and everyone. She loved life. Mae Lee lived the second.

I often got jealous over the tiniest things, but she was always able to calm me down. She was always there to help and understand. She always cared. And I always wondered if she ever loved me.

"If I were to tell you how I feel,  
Would you hold me closer?  
Would you say you feel the same way  
Towards me?  
Or say "That's nice" & walk away?  
What would you do if I told you  
I love you?"

***

Gaara on a small island in the middle of the forest. Trees surrounded him making a protective shield. He never knew about this small island until Mae once told him. She said it was the best place to watch the stars at night and she was right. Gaara smiled and looked up. The stars were shining brighter than usual. There was a quiet noise behind him making him turn around. A soft smile spread on his once cold and emotionless face.

Mae steeped out and made her way to the mad who stood up to greet her. Gaara looked at his friend. She looked different.

Her hair was wilder and lips were red. She wore a short navy blue free dress showing her legs and a lot of her back. Her pale skin was glowing while the slight blush on her face gave her That look. She didn't look like a teenager anymore. She looked like a young woman. Stunning, enchanting, divine...desirable for every man who ever walked the earth. Gaara's breath got caught in his throat as she slowly approached him.

Her lips slightly parted when she looked at him.

"Mae?" Gaara asked in disbelief.

"Where true Love burns Desire is Love's pure flame;  
It is the reflex of our earthly frame,  
That takes its meaning from the nobler part,  
And but translates the language of the heart. [by **Samuel Taylor Coleridge]** " Mae's voice rose with every sentence she spoke. Her hands were crossed over her chest and eyes glancing at Gaara with the emotion he never saw in them before.

Need.

She needed him.

Mae reached out and touched his face. With both of her hands she slowly pulled it closer to hers and allowed her lips to touch his gently. It was a short kiss, but it was enough for both of them to want more. To feel each other's emotions. To feel loved.

Gaara gently pulled her closer and wrapped his arms around her. Crashing his lips on hers once again. It was a long, deep and passionate kiss, filled with love and affection from both sides.

Gaara's hands gently massaged her waist while he trailed small kisses down her neck and the bare flesh available for his touch. Mae let out a small moan when his lips hit her weak spot. Gaara smiled against her skin, and continued working his way on her spot which was just above her right breast. He bit the soft flesh making Mae gasp a little in pain, Gaara trailed his tongue over the bite licking off the blood.

"Gaara...why..." Mae moaned out but he interrupted her.

"Because I love you Mae...you are mine. Mine only." He whispered holding her closer protectively as if someone was about to take her away.

Mae leaned to his ear capturing it between her lips. She nibbled on it licking it. Gaara shivered and bit his lip. He loved it.

Mae's hands travelled under his top. She slowly felt each one of his muscles, making him tense, but he quickly relaxed as soon as her lips hit his once again.

Gaara's hands slowly unzipped her dress making it fall to the ground. His shirt followed it shortly. He pressed her closer to himself roaming her body with his hands, pressing the special spots which made her moan and dig her nails into his flesh.

He laid her down on the grass and placed himself above her. He quickly unhooked her bra and threw it aside. He looked at her bare chest admiring the beauty of small firm breast. He reached out and touched her nipples with his fingers tips watching Mae facial expression carefully. Her eyes widened as she bit her lower lip preventing herself from moaning.

He grinned madly; suddenly he cupped both of her breasts and squeezed them, but not too painful yet enough to drive her insane. Mae instantly wrapped her legs around his waist pressing herself to him. She ran her fingers through his hair while her other hand rubbed his chest.

With a swift move Gaara pulled her panties, Mae didn't hesitate to do the same to him. She wanted it, just as much as he did.

"Mae...do you love me?" Gaara suddenly asked catching her off guard.

Mae looked into his eyes hesitating. She didn't know if she should tell him or not...

"I...I...do." she whispered quietly closing her eyes.

Gaara's heart beat sped up.

"Mae, look at me." She said running his hand over her bare stomach.

Mae opened her eyes and looked at him.

"Now say it." he whispered. She kept quiet. "Say it god damnit Mae. Tell me you love me." Gaara yelled half angrily half desperately.

"I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU GAARA!!!" she yelled wrapping hers arms around him and hiding her face in his neck.

Then it happened. The action of love and desire. The sharing of feelings, emotions, needs...everything.

Love – a strong emotional feeling about someone or something.

And that night they both found the true meaning of it.

***

Our happiness didn't last long. After a week, I've started seeing Mae rarer and rarer. She didn't come to our usual meeting spot; neither did she explain what was happening. My heart was tearing me apart. I could not eat, I couldn't sleep, my mind didn't function. All I could think of was Mae Lee.

That day I went to our favourite spot in the forest just to find Mae already sitting on the large rock. She was much paler than usual, almost white, her lips looked blue and her hands were visibly shaking.

I ran towards the girl I love and kneeled beside her. I took her hands in mine and kissed them.

"Mae...what happened? Did anyone hurt you? Just name them I..."

She placed her index finger of my lips and smiled.

"No, I'm fine. I came here today to tell you that I'm leaving." She standing up and fixing that white dress I saw her wearing near the waterfall.

"What?" my heart smashed into millions of little pieces. I grabbed her hand and pulled her closer. "Mae...my beautiful Mae. You can't leave...you can't leave me." I felt my voice shake and my hands treble but I ignored it.

A couple of tears escaped her eyes. I've never seen her cry. It scared me.

"Gaara...I have to go. My time has come." She whispered now tears rolling down her cheeks one after another.

I leaned in kissing her face her eyes her lips but she gently pushed me away.

"No."

"Mae. Why are you leaving me??? Did I do anything wrong? Do...do you not love me anymore?" I asked desperately.

"Oh Gaara...I love you more than I can every express, but..."

"BUT WHAT?? YOU ARE STILL LEAVING ME??? WHY MAE??? WHY????????" I yelled clenching my fists feeling Shikaku taking over my body for the first time in a long time.

"I am sick Gaara. I'm dying." She said smiling at him.

I stopped breathing. I froze in place. I couldn't move, I couldn't speak I couldn't do anything. I couldn't believe that the girl I've spent the most beautiful 5 months with was going to die. It wasn't right. It just couldn't happen. Why???

She was the most lively and happy person I've ever met. She loved life. She lived the moment.

Then why was she dying?? I didn't understand.

Mae looked at me understanding.

"It's a curse Gaara. I was an unwanted child in our family. My mother got pregnant when she was 15 and gave birth to me as soon as she turned 16. She didn't want me. She hated me, so as soon as I came out she cursed me. I was never to fall in love with anybody. I did a pretty good job, I loved everybody but not that way until I met you." She looked lovingly at me, her lips still stretched in a smile. "I fell in love with you Gaara. And now it's time."

I couldn't believe it. I was the cause of her death.

"Isn't there a way to break the curse...can't we...I..."

"No. When a mother curses her child the curse is the strongest of all, it cannot be broken." She replied calmly.

I looked at her for the longest time feeling my own hot tears escape my eyes.

"I will stay with you...I will stay with you until your last breath." I whispered hugging her. She hugged me back kissing my cheek.

"No. I want you to remember me the way I was. Always happy...always loving...not what I will become." She whispered into my ear.

We parted away. I looked into her my own eyes becoming Niagara falls. She smiled and wiped my tears away.

"Don't cry. I will always be with you...in here." She placed her hand on the place where my heart was.

I leaned in and kissed her forehead.

She took my hand and placed something in it. Before I knew, she disappeared.

I opened my hand to see her medallion with golden chain.

I opened the small lock and read:

_"_ _With Love I give my heart to You,_

_Mae Lee."_

I never saw her again. But the memories dwell in my heart until this day.


End file.
